5 Reasons For Stop Being “Responsible Adult”
If there’s one paradigm that’s been killing your progress and blocking your every attempt to ensure your financial stability, among everything else, that’s the “RESPONSIBLE ADULT” one. The truth is: we should never outgrow the age of 12 in some segments of our lives.
Who is “Responsible Adult”?
It’s the person who yelled at you because you climbed that tree or tried to make a treehouse at the age of 8. Then that same person called you in to pound your ass for being:
- brainless idiot
- little prick
In short: that was some grown up man or a woman who blocked your attempt to reach your most imminent goal which subsequently rewired your brain and taught you to fail!
Implications of which are mind blowing
By stopping your attempt to climb that big tree for instance, that same “Responsible Adult” added a small memory block into your working (operative) memory. Your brain learned that every time you try something new, there can be severe punishment for that.
In that particular moment, when you were climbing your first tree, brain didn’t still have the memory blocks of how physically dangerous that attempt truly is because you didn’t fall of the tree yet. Besides that unpleasant feeling caused by the innate fear from heights, your climb was just another experience like many to that point. So there wasn’t any insecurity, only the excitement.
Cheered and guided by the like-minded peers, you did it. You climbed to top branches and felt proud. Crowd’s gone wild and loud, you’re on top of the world and then you father comes along and kill the dream with one single sentence, “Get down you fool! You wanna get yourself killed?”
Your brain is confused. Where did that come from? What does he mean? How can you get yourself killed when you’re clearly more than capable of climbing to the top? Wotta hell is goin’ on here?
Suddenly, brain realizes. Climbing up the tree was a terrible mistake. It does not correspond with the rules of your environment and thus, it’s forbidden!
And if you tried to climb the tree after you’ve been told not to, and after your brain realized that it’s not the optimal response to your environment, not only that you had to fight the fear from your father but also – you had to fight your own brain! Every new thing you’d try after that dreadful experience, you did it with a certain anxiety because you were always expecting some sort of retaliation or possible negative outcome. For it can only be right or wrong. Brain does not distinguish beyond those two.
Why you don’t put hand on a hot stove?
Either you felt the consequences or, which is more likely, your parents scared the bejeezus out of you when you went anywhere near it.
Whatever is the reason, one thing is certain: you’ll be extra cautious about stoves in general — hot or cold — for the rest of your life because of that small memory block added to your central belief system.
And the heat source plus remote controller and few other stuff were the first things you were instructed not to mess with. Given the maturity of your brain, it’s only reasonable to believe that you were in fact taught to approach everything with extra caution!
While it may sound smart; it’s in fact the most limiting behavioral treatment that exists
Because, from the moment you were forced down of the tree BEFORE you could reach the top and successfully accomplish your goal, your brain has started to anticipate punishment for every new experience.
It may sound too radical from your current perspective but you must think through the eyes of the kid because it was then, while your brain was still learning and developing, when this new doctrine was installed. Back in those days, world was black and white. And in some segments, it still is.
You weren’t afraid to try new things. Everything was game, even though many of those seemingly innocent games were in fact quite deadly. Yet, you didn’t perceive them as such. Something was pushing you to explore.
It was your brain, trying to collect as many details about your environment as possible so it could properly build your central belief system or the set of principles upon which you are living your life. It’s nothing but the chemical (biological) thing, run by neurons and different neurotransmitters. It’s your basic survival mechanism.
And it gets worse
With every passing day, you’re taught to grow mature and be responsible.
- Do your homework!
- Sit straight!
- Eat you greens!
- Don’t be late!
- Don’t fool around!
- AVOID THE RISKS!
Everybody kept telling you that you must not be reckless for you might get burned. But nobody defined what ‘reckless’ means! Nobody drew the line between recklessness and opportunity!
Pretty soon everything became the subject of thorough analyses and examination where you were desperately seeking for any kind of danger or risk. It went so far that you’ve started neglecting and disregarding the opportunities! They won and made you one of them. If not before, then after you got married and fell under the influence of society and your own frightened spouse! You caved in and stop trying!
Only because you’ve started obeying the 5 rules of “Responsible Adult” paradigm:
- Everything is potentially dangerous and risky and thus, it has to undergo rigorous analyses until you find the flaw.
- If nobody else is doing it, that means it’s not safe thus, you’re not doing it either (it’s hype hence, you’re in if everybody is in or you’re out if everybody is out.)
- You have to finish your school, find a decent job, regardless of the wage or level, and stick to it because it’s what put food on the table (and don’t ever fight with your superior…keep your head down and stay out of the trouble.)
- Wise man sticks to what he’s got because it’s not smart to push the envelope, question the authorities and/or test the hypotheses (i.e. quitting your study or 9-5 to follow your own free will.)
- Wealth and unlimited abundance are things of greedy people and greed is a bad trait; some would even call it a mortal sin (because hardworking and honest person always has to struggle to provide for the family…it’s just the way things are.)
Subsequently, you never moved away from the point of debt!
So, when you think about it, when you were just a small child, you were moving to the point of SYNC. But then, “Responsible Adult” got installed into your central belief system and your path got shifted to the point of SINK. Sounds same but as you know by now, there’s a big difference.
What to do now when you realized that your life philosophy, inherited from the adults in your closest social environment, is leading you to a certain ultimate fail?
There’s only one thing you can — and should — do: